If you're handicap in Austin and rely on the Capital Metro Special Transit Program to scoot your ass around town, you'd better buy some lube, because you are about to get screwed pretty hard. 

Seems Capital Metro is considering revisions for their program that assists handicap Austinites by increasing the penalty for no-shows from $1.20 to $10, decreasing the advance reservation time frame from 8 days in advance to just 3 days, and cutting down hours their customer support is available to the hours of 8am-5pm instead of the regular 8am-9pm.  Also, the window timeframe for pickups will be between a 30 minute interval instead of the previous 15 minute window.  You can almost hear the wheelchairs and crutches mounting a handicap attack. 

Capital Metro, like all transit agencies, is required under federal law to provide special services for people with disabilities.

I Guess the $100 million-plus commuter rail line that is scheduled to open is more important than the blind, crippled and impaired of our great city. 

Way to go Capital Metro. Way to go.

We are only 77 days into 2008 and Austin has already experienced 8 bank robberies.

For all you math geeks out there, that's a little less than 1 every 10 days. 1 every 10 days!  In Austin!

I don't know about you but making a trip to my local bank branch is turning into a heart-pounding adventure.  Why is that guy in the corner staring at the vault?  Why is that girl wearing a parka coat when it's 75 degrees outside?  Why is the security guard asleep?

Planning a trip to the bank is now considered "dangerous" to me and my friends.  On any given day of the week, there's a 1 in 10 chance that either either you are at an Austin bank that is going to get robbed or one nearby is.   Thrill seekers, this may be you new sport.

And by the way, why is it that the dumb bastards who are robbing these banks not even giving one iota of thought that maybe a mask or disguise may be in order?  I break out in laughter each time Fox 7 News airs their little clip showing some ignorant sap in full and detailed view from a lobby camera.  They don't even try to hide their face.  Seems sunglasses or a baseball cap is now considered the minimum requirement for holding up a financial institution.  At least have a little pride in your work. Even the Hamburglar wore a mask! 

I almost slit my wrists when I wrote out the title to this blog article. 

We're in full swing for the 2008 Presidential Elections with Obama, Clinton and McCain duking it out over media, rallies and debates, but in the midst of all this craziness, there is something even crazier going on. 

Seems there are a growing number of "Rick Perry for President" domain names being scooped up, just in case ol' Rick tries to screw the population on a national level in 2012.

It's a scary thought ladies and gentlemen. We should all be scared. 

Here's a list of a few I've run across the past few days:

RICKPERRY2012.COM
Creation Date: 26-apr-2007


Registrant:
Baselice & Assoc.


ATTN: RICKPERRY2012.COM
c/o Network Solutions


P.O. Box 447
Herndon, VA. 20172-0447

RICKPERRYFORPRESIDENT.COM
Creation Date: 01-mar-2008
Registrant:
George Howard


5707 Carry Back Ln
Austin, TX 78746

PERRY2012.COM
Creation Date: 07-feb-2008
Registrant:
Putnam Service, Inc.


405 Lewis Lane
Keene, Texas 76059


I'm sure more registrations will pop up over the next coming months, casting an even bigger suspicion that Rick Perry is bent on heading the nation in 4 short years. 

I don't know about you but maybe it's time we begin our own campaign just to make sure this catastrophe never occurs. 

RickPerrySucks.com, DontTrustRick.com and KinkyFriedmanForPresident are still available.

*wink wink*